The Middle of the Middle of Nowhere

I have located the middle of the Middle of Nowhere - it's known the rest of us as the White Sands Missile Range. I just came back early Friday from nearly two weeks out there doing work for the THAAD program. Nothing interesting, just validating repair procedures for the system's diesel generators. I guess being outdoors all day really got the best of me, because I slept nearly all day Friday. That and just the rigors of airline travel really saps you.

The air was really dry there, of course. But, unless you've been there, and up until now, I hadn't, you really can't grasp just how dry. The dry air wreaks havoc with your sinus, and they get as raw as if you'd jammed a q-tip with 30 grit sandpaper up your nostrils. My sinus were filled with blood clots like I'd never had before, not even on the boat. I think the only thing that kept them from bleeding out right was the dust. To get some relief, I used a couple different sinus sprays. First, a saline wash, and then a sinus lubricant.The saline wash helps wash out the dust, and soften up the clots. You have to be careful not to use too much, because it can dry your sinuses out, rather than moisturize. The sinus lubricant acts like Chapstick for your sinuses. I highly recommend both, not just for the desert, but for the dryer air in the winter.

The site was very remote. This will give you an idea of just how remote.

"Close-up"

Includes the entrance gate to the base at the bottom

Includes El Paso, TX at the bottom

Black Mountain from WSMR

There was no cell phone coverage once you got on the road to the base from Rt 54. There was nowhere to go to eat without having to drive for at least a half hour. Orogrande, NM the closest town (if you can call it that) actually had a burger stand.

Yours Truly at the Ladybug Grill

It takes all of 30 seconds to drive through the town at the speed limit. Bag lunches and bottled water were the order of the day. Fortunately, my hotel, in El Paso, TX, had a really nice breakfast buffet. I especially liked the bacon. It was absolutely the best I've ever had. A good breakfast made a good start to the day.

I ate at some really nice restaurants while I was there. Unlike other trips I've taken, I was there with others from my company that enjoyed dining out as I do. The best place we ate was Cattlemans, in Fabens, TX. Its to the lower left of the Middle of Nowhere. Along with steaks on the menu four times out of the 11 days I was there (after all, it is Texas), we ate at a Mexican restaurant. It was the spiciest food I've eaten in years. My lips were absolutely on fire by the time I was done with my meal. But it was delicious, I have to say. I know the trick to eating spicy/hot foods. Dairy will neutralize the acid that makes hot foods hot. A glass of milk during the meal will help immensely. But I didn't expect my meal to be that hot. So, at the end of my meal, I had a nice soothing bowl of ice cream. I did this also because I knew if I didn't, I'd be a hurting unit as the meal made its way through my digestive tract. It helped quite a bit, but it didn't stop the second round of burning at the opposite orifice. Other meals were Barbecue (of course), Chinese, and Italian. A fairly well rounded mix of comestibles I should think.

I also visited Carlsbad Cavern while I was there. It was fantastic. I really enjoyed it, but it was quite exhausting. It was a 1.5 mile walk around and there were some pretty steep inclines. The rock formations were quite interesting, but it was hard to get good photos in the dark with my cheapo camera digital camera I bought at Walgreen's. Here are some of the better ones.

A stalactite over a stalagmite

Looks like frosting on a cake

Rock of Ages

My favorite rock

On the way there from El Paso, you pass through the Guadalupe Mountains. There were some very spectacular mountain views. But what really caught my eye was this:

El Capitan, Guadalupe Mountains

El Capitan was a spectacular crag. It appears as you round a bend, going up into the mountains. I took several pictures, but this one was the best. I had a great time, over all. It was good to get out and do a bit of sightseeing.

Going through security was not the hassle I had expected. Because of the protests leading up to Thanksgiving, Big Sis has suspended the Nude-O-Scope usage in most airports, despite what you may hear in the media. I went through traditional security on my flights out and home again. No groping, either. The machines at Providence were shutdown, and only one was in use in El Paso, at the far end of the security chokepoint. I went to the far opposite end in the hopes that time distance and shielding would work to my favor. 

I have some things I do that helps make the traveling experience on the lower end of the torture scale. Slip-on shoes, or at least loosely-laced shoes are a must. I've discovered that the small metal tip on the Navy uniform belts will not set off the metal detectors. So, I just unclasp the belt buckle, and stick in my carry bag. When I get through, I easily reattach the belt buckle. I do not put any of my valuables in one of the bins. I see people place their wallets, keys, cellphones, jewelry, etc., in the inspection bins in plain sight. Things get ripped off so easily, especially when you can't keep an eye on it 100% of the time. I put everything in my carry bag, deep inside so it makes it hard to grab them if some miscreant is doing a quick snatch-and-grab. Nothing I can do about the laptop, however. Its gotta come out. 

Once you get onto the aircraft, maneuvering through the narrow aisle with your carry-on can be quite punishing on your shoulders and hazardous for the other passengers. I see people fighting with their carry-on as they try  to roll it down the aisle. Its an exercise that would challenge a contortionist. You have to twist your upper body down and your shoulders nearly parallel with the aisle to roll your bag. The same goes for a shoulder bag, but you don't have to twist down, except under the weight of the bag. I see most people cram too much crap into their carry-on. With the shoulder style bags, you are now bashing people in the cranium as you head towards your seat. Most people realize this, but you always get those one or two obliviots per flight who don't realize they're a menace to those around them. Then there's trying to heft your bag in front of you, while trying to make your elbows touch. It may be the least dangerous, but its more awkward than the other ways. So, what do I do? I have a backpack, or a daypack, if you will. I got one specifically for laptops. I use it everyday in fact. It allows me to stroll comfortably down the aisle. When I get to my seat, I simply turn my back to my seat (I always get an aisle seat if i can), loosen the straps, and set my bag in the seat. That is the system I use for making travel more tolerable, but it may not work for everyone or what someone else may prefer.

My flight out to El Paso were tolerable. I had some credits which got me upgraded to 1st Class. I still had to fly cattle class on the way home, though. I've learned a few tricks towards making flight more bearable. I read that if you give the flight attendants a tip or some type of confectionery treat, it makes a big difference towards the type of treatment you receive. So, I picked up some Ghirardelli dark chocolate, one for each leg of my flight. I picked some up for myself, too (it's good for you.; lots of cancer fighting anti-oxidants, raises serotonin levels, etc.). During my flight out, after the beverage services, I got up went forward to the flight attendant station and presented my little gift and... nothing. I got thank-yous of course, but no "special treatment". I wondered if I gave it to them at the wrong time, or maybe they were used to that sort of thing. I decided to give it a different tack. On my final leg from Atlanta to Providence, I gave it to them during the beverage service, when they got to my row. That was it. They went absolutely bonkers! I got the entire can of soda, and was offered another. They offered to comp me a snack box, that normally goes for $7. Every time they came by my seat, it was "Nom nom, fank oo fo da chockwat! Its so dewishus!" I declined, of course. I got my reward just from the attention.

But next time... yeah... I just moved up to "1st class" for $2.87.